About Grief & Bereavement

Grieving Serves an Important Function

Grief is a normal reaction that serves an important function. It is an adjustment process that reorganizes feelings of sadness and despair to bring about the reestablishment of normal function. Because it is a necessary process, you should allow yourself to experience your grief at your own pace, in your own way.

Everyone experiences grief in a unique way, but there are common symptoms including weeping, fatigue, stomach upset, restlessness, sighing, feelings of guilt, sadness, preoccupation with the deceased person's image, irritability, indecisiveness, absentmindedness, feelings of coldness towards others and the desire to be alone, emptiness and despair. You may be surprised at your own reactions.

Acknowledge Your Grief

Grief is an important process and failure to grieve may result in emotional problems later on. Well-meaning, but nonetheless unproductive advice should be avoided. "Cheer up, life goes on." "You've got to hold it together for your kids' sake." "It's God's will." These are instructions to avoid. These comments distract from the important psychological function of bereavement, and are counterproductive. When you are grieving, you need a friend who can be with you in a calm, patient, gentle and accepting way, to listen to the weeping, the memories and stories and even the bitterness and anger.

Moving Through Grief to Normal Function

There is no set time frame for grief to resolve but it commonly will take several months. Grief is beginning to resolve when you notice reappearance of normal function, capacity to experience pleasure or a willingness to enter new relationships. Often, if the death followed a long and difficult illness, grief may be delayed, only to be triggered later by a holiday, a rediscovered photograph, or another memento that sparks memories and emotions.

If the troubling symptoms of grief persist and you find it hard to resolve your pain, it may help to find a bereavement support group, counselor or therapist who can help you work through the process.

Grief Guides

The National Hospice and Palliative Care Organization offers four Grief and Bereavement Guides. Please feel free to download and reproduce these guides.

Grief Guide
This guide will help you understand the grief you or others may feel after a death and that these feelings are not unusual.

When a Co-worker Suffers a Loss
Many of us feel awkward when a co-worker experiences a death of a loved one. We don't know what to say or what to do. This guide provides a better understanding of the grieving process and how you can help your co-worker.

When a Co-worker Dies
When a co-worker becomes seriously ill or dies, your productivity and the dynamics of the workplace are affected. Here are tips on how to handle this difficult time on both professional and personal levels.

A Manager's Guide to Grief in the Workplace
How do managers of workplaces that have been touched by grief, balance their managerial responsibilities and desire to show compassion? This guide offers some suggestions.